What do the learned scholars decree regarding the rights of the children towards their deceased parents?
The Answer:
1. The foremost rights of the children towards their deceased parents, is that once they have passed away, to make all arrangements for the janazah, such as ghusl, kaffan, Janazah Namaaz and burial. In doing so, one should make sure that all the sunnats and mustahabs are also fulfilled, so that the deceased may receive full blessings.
2. One should continue making dua for them and also making istighfaar for them and not to be negligent of that.
3. To always send the sawaab of sadqa and khairaat to their souls. Try not to allow any shortcoming in doing so and only do what is within your means. When reading Namaaz for you, also read Namaaz for them (send reward of Namaaz to them). When keeping fast for yourself also keep fast for them (send reward). Actually when doing any good deeds, send the reward to them and to the souls of all the deceased Muslims. Every one of them will receive their sawaab and there will be no shortage in sawaab for anyone. One will receive great success and prosperity in doing this.
4. If they owed anyone any money, then try your best to swiftly pay off this debt. One must note that by paying of their debts with your wealth is a means of blessing for you in this world and in the hereafter. If you are not able to fulfil or pay off the debt, then take assistance from close family members and other kind relatives, so that it may be paid off.
5. Try to fulfill all other debts. If they have not made Hajj, then make Hajj on their behalf or send someone to make Hajj-e-Badal. If they owed any zakaat etc. then try and pay this. If they have any fast (roza) or Namaaz that was not completed, then give kaffarah as compensation and this is based on assumption. Take responsibility to fulfil all their shortcomings to the best of your ability and strive in doing so, so that they may gain salvation.
6. Try to the best of your ability to make sure that any permissible wasiyat (bequest) made by them is carried out, even though it may not be necessary upon you in the light of the Shariat and even if it is difficult upon you, for example if the deceased makes a bequest that half his property be given to a certain relative, even though according to shariat he was only allowed to make a bequest for one third of his property, his children should put his bequest before themselves and try to adhere to what he asked and have it fulfilled.
7. Even after their demise, to be loyal to a Qasam (oath) he had taken. In other words, if he took an oath saying that his son will not go to a certain place or meet with a certain person, then one should not think that now that he has passed away, there is no need to have any consideration for the oath he had taken. It is not so. One must continue like it was in his life time, unless there is something in Shariah that does not allow you to do so. This does not however only refer to their oaths or vows, but it refers to doing every permissible thing after their demise like they wished during their lifetime.
8. Go for ziyaarat of their graves every Friday. To recite Quran in a tone, that they are able to hear you and to send the reward of the recitation to their souls. Whenever you pass by their grave, never bypass it without making salaam to them or making Fateha.
9. Love their relatives for your entire lifetime.
10. Be kind towards their friends and always respect them.
11. Do not ever swear the parents of others, causing the other person to reply by swearing your parents
12. The object that you need to note most is that you should not remain sinful and cause them grief and sadness in their graves due to your wrongdoings. Your parents are aware of all that which you are doing. When they see you doing good deeds, they become pleased and their faces begin to beam with brightness and happiness. When they see you doing wrong, then they become sad and their hearts become burdened. It is not for us to now cause them grief after they have gone to their graves.
We pray that Almighty Allah, The Merciful, The Compassionate, blesses all Muslims with the ability to do good deeds. We pray that Allah protects us from sinning. We pray that Allah always fills the graves of our Akaabirs (elders) with Noor and blesses them with comfort for Allah is all Powerful and we are weak and helpless. Allah is Ghani and we are dependant.
حسبنا الله و نعم الوکیل نعم المولٰی و نعم النصیر۔ولاحول و لا قوة الا بالله العلی العظیم۔ و صلی الله تعالٰی علی الشفیع الرفیع الغفور الکریم الروف الرحیم سیدنا محمد و اله و صحبه اجمعین۔امین الحمد لله رب العالمین
This faqeer (Aala Hazrat radi Allahu anhu) would now like to present a few Ahadith from which I have derived that which I mentioned.
First Hadith: An Ansari sahaba (radi Allahu anhu) came to the Prophet Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam and asked if there was anything he could do to benefit his parents after they had passed away and the Prophet Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “Yes. There are four things; to make their Namaaz (Janazah), to make Dua for their forgiveness, to fulfill their bequests and to respect their friends and relatives from their side by keeping the relationship established. These are those good actions that are to be done for them after they pass away.
Second Hadith: The Holy Prophet Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “The children should make Dua-e-Maghfirat for them after they have passed away.
Third Hadith: The Prophet Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “When a person stops making dua for his mother and father, his sustenance is stopped.” رواه الطبرانی فی التاریخ و الدیلمی عن انس بن مالک رضی الله تعالٰی عنه
Fourth & Fifth Hadith: The Prophet Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “If anyone of you gives some Nafil Khairaat, then he should do so on behalf of your parents, so that they may attain its reward and there shall be no shortage in reward.
رواه الطبرانی فی اوسطه و ابن عساکر عن عبدالله بن عمرورضی الله تعالٰی عنھما۔ و نحوه الدیملی فی مسند الفردوس عن ماویة بن حیدة القشیری رضی الله تعالٰی عنھما
Sixth Hadith: A Sahabi (radi Allahu anhu) came to the Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) and said, “O Prophet of Allah (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam), When my father was alive I treated him very well. Now that he has passed away what can I do to treat him well?” The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “To treat him well after his passing away, you must read Namaaz for him with your Namaaz and keep fast for him with your fast. “ In other words when you read Nafil Namaaz etc for your self and keep fast for your self, then you should award the reward of it to your parents. Make intention for them to receive reward as well and there will be no shortage in your sawaab. كما مرو لفظ الوجهين بل هذا الصق بالميتة محيط
It is also stated in Tataar Khaniyan and then in Durr-e-Mukhtar:
الافضل لمن يتصدق نفلاَ ان ينوى لجميع المؤمنين والمؤمنات لانها تصل اليهم ولا ينقص من اجره شئى
Seventh Hadith: It is in Awsat from Tibrani and from Darqutni in sunan on the authority of Ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhu) as follows: “One who makes Hajj on behalf of his parents and pays off their debts, then Allah will raise him amongst the pious on the day of Qiyaamah.
رواه الطبرانی فی الاوسط والدار قطنی فی السنن عن ابن عباس رضی الله تعالٰی عنه
Eight Hadith: Hazrat Umar-e-Farouk (radi Allahu anhu) owed eighty thousand. At the time of his demise, he called his son Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (radi Allahu anhu) and said, “From my belongings, first sell my things. If it is sufficient (to pay off my debt), then it is fine. If not, request (assistance) from my people, the Bani Adi, If it is still not fulfilled then request (assistance) from the Quraish and do not ask anyone else for assistance except them. He then asked his son if he would take the responsibility of fulfilling this debt and his son agreed and even before the burial of Hazrat Umar-e-Farouk (radi Allahu anhu), he made the Ansaar and Muhajireen witness and announced that he was now responsible for the debt. Even before one week had passed, Hazrat Abdullah ibn Umar (radi Allahu anhu) paid off the debt. رواه ابن سعد فی الطبقات عن عثمان بن عروة
Ninth Hadith: A lady from the juhaina tribe came to the Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) and said that her mother had taken a vow to make Hajj, but she passed away before fulfilling the vow. She asked if she could fulfill the Hajj on behalf of her (deceased) mother. The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Yes. You may perform Hajj on her behalf. Know well that if your mother had owed anything then you would have fulfilled it or not. In the same way, this is that which is for Allah, since it is more worthy of being fulfilled.” (Bukhari)
Tenth Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “When a person makes Hajj on behalf of his parents, then the Hajj is accepted on behalf of him and his parents and their souls which are in the skies become pleased (at his action). This person is then written down by Allah as being a person who treated his parents well.”
Eleventh Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “If a person does Hajj on behalf of his parents, then his Hajj is accepted and he is given the reward of ten more Hajj.” رواه الدار قطنی عن جابر بن عبدالله رضی الله تعالٰی عنھما
Twelfth Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “If a person makes Hajj on behalf of his parents after they pass away, then Allah grants him salvation from Hell and both his parents get the reward of Hajj. In reality there is no shortage in sawaab.” (Ref: Ashbahani in Targheeb and Baihaqi in Shu’ab on the authority of ibn Umar radi Allahu anhu)
Thirteenth Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “That person who fulfills the oath of his parents and pays off their debts and does not swear the parents of another so that his parents are sworn at in return, then he is written down as a person who treated his parents well, even though he may have disobeyed them in his lifetime. That person who did not fulfill their oath and pay off their debt and who swore at someone’s parents causing his parents to be sworn at, then he is written down as an undutiful person (one who is disowned).” (Ref: Tibrani in Awsat from Abdur Rahman bin Samurah radi Allahu anhu)
Fourteenth Hadith: The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “That person who goes for Ziyaarat to the graves of both his parents or one of his parents on a Friday, will have his sins pardoned and he will be written as a person who was dutiful to his parents.” (Ref: Imam Tirmizi in Nawadirul Usool from Abu Hurairah radi Allahu anhu)
Fifteenth Hadith: The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Any person who visits the grave of both his parents or even one of them on a Friday and recites Yaseen at their graves, will have his sins forgiven.” (Ref: Ibn Adi from Hazrat Siddique-e-Akbar radi Allahu anhu).
It is also mentioned that one who goes to the graves of both or one of his parents on a Friday and reads the Surah Yasin, Allah will make his maghfirat according to the amount of alphabets present in Surah Yasin.
رواه ھو الخلیلی و ابو شیخ و الدیلمی وابن النجار و الرفعی وغیرھم عن ام المومنین الصدیقة عن ابیھا الصدیق الاکبر رضی الله تعالٰی عنھما عن النبی صلی الله تعالٰی علیه وسلم
Sixteenth Hadith: The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “One who visits the grave of both or one of his parents with the intention of attaining reward, will receive the reward equivalent to that of Hajj and one who visits their graves often, will have Angels visiting his grave (after he passes away).” رواه الامام الترمذی الحکیم و ابن عدی عن ابن عمر رضی الله تعالٰی عنھما
Imam Ibn Jauzi Muhadith reports in his book Uyoonul Hikayaat from Muhammad ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhu) as follows: “A person went on a journey with his son. On the way, the father passed away. The Jungle in which he passed away was vegetated by gum trees. He buried his father under one of the trees and left. On his return journey he passed the same way, but did not visit the grave of his father. That night as he slept, he had a dream and heard someone say the following poetic verse to him in his dream:
“I saw at night as you passed by this jungle, yet you did not think of it as important to talk to those under the trees”
Yet they live in (under) these trees. For if you were in their place, then when they returned they would have stopped at your
grave and conveyed salaams”
Seventeenth Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “One who wishes to be good to his father after his demise, should be good towards his fathers relatives and friends.” (Ref: Abu Ya’la and Ibn Hibaan on the authority of ibn Umar radi Allahu anhu)
رواه ابن النجار عن ابی اسید الساعدی رضی الله تعالٰی عنه مع القصة و رواه البیھقی فی سننه رضی الله تعالٰی عنه قال قال رسول الله صلی الله تعالٰی علیه وسلم لا یبقی للولد من بر الوالدالا اربع، الصلٰوة علیه والدعاء له و انفاذ عھده من بعده و صلة رحمه واکرام صدیقه
Eighteenth Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “From amongst the actions that are good to your father, one is to treat his friends well (after his demise).” (Ref: Tibrani in Awsat on the authority of Anas radi Allahu anhu)
Nineteenth Hadith: The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Verily the best thing amongst all things after your fathers demise is to continue treating his friends well.” (Ref: Imam Ahmed and Bukhari in Adabul Mufrad and Muslim in its Sahihs and in Abu Dawood and Tirmizi from Ibn Amar radi Allahu anhu)
Twentieth Hadith: The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Take care of your father’s friends and do not break this relationship as Allah will extinguish your Noor.”
Twenty First Hadith: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “All good deeds are presented in the Court of Allah on a Monday and Friday and they are presented before ones parents and the Ambia-e-Kiraam (alaihimus salaatu was salaam) on a Friday. They become pleased and the brightness and light in their faces increases on seeing good deeds, so fear Allah and do not cause your deceased sadness based on your sins.”
رواه الامام الحکیم عن والد عبدالعزیز رضی الله تعالٰی عنه
It must thus be concluded that it is not the rights of the children to cause harm to their parents, but to cause benefit. Thus, whatever blessings we receive, is through them. Every blessing and grace is based on their existence and it is due to this that this all occurs. Just by them being parents is a great blessing by itself. No matter what we do, we will never be able to repay what they have done for us by nurturing us, by the hardships the mother feels when weaning and feeding her child. No matter how grateful we are to them, it can never be enough. In brief, they are a blessing of Allah and His Rasool (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) and are the manifestation of His Divine Majesty and His Mercy.
Almighty Allah spoke of their excellence whilst discussing our rights towards Him. Almighty Allah says, “Fulfill My Rights and the rights of your parents.”
It has been mentioned in the Hadith that one Sahabi-e-Rasool (radi Allahu anhu) presented himself in the Court of the Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) and said, “Ya Rasoolallah (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) I carried my mother on my back and walked for six miles on rocks that were so intensely hot that if one places meat on it, it would have cooked. O Prophet of Allah (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam), have I fulfilled my rights towards her (as her son)?” The Prophet (Sall Allaho Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “Possibly it can be the recompense for one of the jolts of pain that she felt from the many jolts at the time of giving birth to you.”
We pray that Almighty Allah protects us from being undutiful towards our parents and we pray that he blesses us with being dutiful towards them.
آمین برحمتک یا ارحم الراحمین و صلی الله تعالٰی علٰی سیدناو مولانا محمد و اله و صحبه اجمعین امین و الحمد لله رب العٰلمین
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